Monday 28 March 2011

Design 101 for Newfie Owners.

I’ve just been reminded (yet again) that Newfie’s aren’t normal dogs. Now, you might think that’s an obvious statement but it’s only when people indicate something is dog friendly that it becomes glaringly obvious that these big hairy beasts are nothing but ‘regular’.

I’m always on the look out for ‘dog friendly’ (see, there’s that phrase again) ideas for the home so when my FAVOURITE blog of all – Design Sponge tweeted a link to a ‘dog friendly’ home I couldn’t resist nipping over for a peek. The article is here in all its glory BTW.
So herein lies a couple of differences…

1. Easy clean tile/wood floors. Sounds like a great idea in principle, but this is a recipe for disaster for giant dogs with hairy paws. I’ve experienced a dog with Cruciate tears and don’t care to experience another thankyou!

2. Teeny weeny, wobbly glass bottles with leaves painstakingly arranged on a chest of drawers. Looks great but Newfies are TALL and their flappy tails reach even higher… I’m pretty sure these would last 30 seconds in my house.

3. White fabric sofas/fabric covers on dining chairs/white bed linen might look gorgeous but with dogs that resemble woolly mammoths plus gallons of dribble these would be grimy and grey in about 5 seconds flat.

4. Vintage skittles artfully arranged next to a fireplace - I predict these would be standing up for 30 seconds and outside as a new exciting chew toy in 30 mins.

5. Floor length white curtains - See point 3!

6. The Coffee Table. I don’t know anyone with a Newfie that owns a coffee table. First off it’s the perfect height for dribbling, ANYTHING on it would be flung aside with a huge head or flapping tail in seconds plus putting a cup/glass anywhere near a Newf is asking for trouble. A big hairy snout and giant tongue would be inside faster than you could ever imagine a Newf could move. Plus Newfs like to play rough. Leaping about and wrestling is an activity best saved for the middle of the living room (and ideally just when your family is sitting down to watch Glee. (I’m not bitter.) So the space is left empty.

7. Candles. No. Big hairy, wafting tail + naked flames = the towering inferno.

8. Sheepskin throws/cow hide rugs. I can’t be sure, never having owned one of these, but I’m pretty sure slobber and sheepskin isn’t a nice mix. I think the cow hide might just get eaten.

But apart from that.... it looks perfectly ‘dog’ if not Newf ‘friendly’. :)

Monday 14 March 2011

Mud has a lot to answer for.

So yesterday I was roaming through the woods at my favourite spot in the New Forest and like the clumsy dolt I am, managed to get myself stuck up to my knees in mud. In retrospect maybe I should have stayed in the mud and called for a flock of burly firemen to rescue me…. But as I had no idea where I was, having roamed randomly through the woods for a good half hour I decided to utilise my very own rescue squad (my lovely Newfies – Lola and Martha). So with the assistance of a pair of ‘trained’ rescue dogs and some handy nearly trees I managed to lever myself free.

So there I was… so giddy that I’d managed to avoid almost certain death due to quick-sand (quick mud?) drowning that I skipped gleefully on and pranced majestically over a ditchy stream thing.

Of course ‘prancing majestically’ is code for losing my footing on the opposite bank and face planting onto the muddy bank the other side.

As if that wasn’t enough I managed to land with my arm (and somehow my shoulder) right under me. I heard a crunchy sound that suggested I’d snapped my arm, but thankfully it seems to be a bad bone bruise and lots of lovely strained muscles/ligaments etc. Never have I been so glad for stupid amounts of mud and a flabby gut to cushion my fall and allow me to avert potential arm snappage.